November 7, 2012

On Thoughts of Separation

Happy Day to You!

I had a great day off yesterday. I started my day with a deadlift workout but had to go a little easy because of my rock lifting the day before.

Later in the day, I got a great full body massage at the local Chinese massage center and followed that with a great toning session in the steam room at the local Fitness First gym. When I came into the gym, I met “Clinton”, a friend of Cam Nell’s and I invited him to join me in the steam for a toning session. Soon, there were a few of us toning and having a great time.

The guys I was sharing with were all surprised at how deep and calming the natural high they got from toning was for them. It made me feel great to share such a lovely experience with some men.

I find that men really open up and do a lot of inner-balancing and healing when they tone, chant or sing. Many of them are afraid to share their own voice because they think they can’t sing.

Singing, toning and chanting is like anything else, the more you do it, the better you get at it.

As the old saying goes, being happy doesn’t make you sing, but singing makes you happy.

After my massage and steam, I came home to Donal and Cathy’s house and created a piece of art to symbolize my teaching intentions for the 1-2-3-4 For Overcoming Addiction, Obesity and Disease workshop, which starts today (Thursday in Australia). I’m excited to teach this workshop.


My mandala shows my 4 Doctors (Dr. Quiet, Dr. Diet, Dr. Happiness and Dr. Movement) meeting at the heart.

The words in Chinese say, “Use your heart to feel what you know”.

If you take a moment to ponder the nature of the universe we live in, you will find that the universe is one undivided whole.

Nothing in the universe can be separated from anything else in the universe because all things we can perceive can only be perceived in relationship to something else.

For example, no matter how far a distant galaxy may seem, the instant you see it or perceive it, it is bound by spatial relationship. When we say, “that galaxy is 300 light years away”, we are describing the spatial relationship.

That is no different than saying your next door neighbor is 30 feet, 30 yards, or 3 miles away. All such statements are relative statements.

Because the universe is one undivided whole and all things in the universe under the same laws and in relationship to one another, it is safe to say that the nature of the universe is wholeness.

Any change you make in yourself, or your life are in fact, changes made in the universe.

When we have thoughts that separate us from others, we create the illusion in our minds that the person we disdain, can’t stand, or don’t love are somehow separate from ourselves. The instant we do this, we go against the natural state of relationship in the universe.

Any such act of separation (being unnatural to the universe at large), must be maintained by our own energy; we don’t get the support of the universe because the universe is incapable of supporting separation.

When we create or entertain thoughts of separation, we often begin to feel tired; to maintain anger, resent, or any disconnecting judgment, we must provide the power to maintain the illusion ourselves.

To maintain your anger toward another, you must provide the power to create the anger within yourself.

The other person you are angry at may be sitting in a coffee shop having a great morning while you are busy festering over some issue that is likely to be of minimal significance in the grand scheme of your life events; only you feel the anger, not them. When you make an effort to be “sure they feel your anger”, they still have the choice to participate or not participate.

Naturally, there are people that challenge us deeply, making it hard to apply universal principles to our relationship with them. I completely understand.

What I do when such a situation arises is to love them at a safe distance. You don’t have to like everyone, but it is important to love them.

I hold the thought that we are all One, we are all of the same source. I may choose to only speak to someone on the phone because I feel safer that way.

I may choose to only write them a letter because I feel safer that way. I may choose to pray for someone because that is the safest way for me to love them.

When I don’t use thoughts to separate myself from others, but stay connected to them and take responsibility for the fact that all judgments represent unmet needs, I feel more capable and more willing to heal my 50% of the relationship.

Whenever I do this, I find that it is much easier to reconnect to people that have challenged my sense of self. I often find that one or both of us was tired, triggered, or stressed and were not behaving as our normal, balanced self.

Today, why not try loving those that challenge you from whatever distance feels safe to you.

You may find that by appreciating that they are also human and have human lessons to learn just like you do, that loving them helps you learn and grow more efficiently and naturally, since judgments that separate us are unnatural.

Have a great day!

Love and chi,
Paul Chek