USING THE NVC CHECKLIST

It’s Friday!

I hope you have time for some rest, relaxation, and creativity this weekend.

Yesterday was a very busy day of coaching and being interviewed for an upcoming article in Men’s Journal. Although I don’t know yet when it will be published, I’ll let you know.

One of my students, Gavin Dobias is building a new gym in Niagra Falls based on the principles shared in my book How To Eat, Move and Be Healthy!

Gavin and I spent time discussing ways to make that venture a success. There are more and more gyms either incorporating, switching to, or beginning from the basis of the CHEK Principles I teach my students.

That’s very exciting for me!

I’m blessed to have a constant stream of letters from around the world expressing gratitude for the healing body-mind benefits people have gained by living the CHEK Principles.

Though there are certainly letters attacking me, telling me that I’m wrong, crazy, and the likes, the consistent theme among those writing such letters is that they have not tried living the principles – they just enjoy battling over anything.

I have empathy for such people because I know full-well that their letters exemplify their own state of body-mind health.

I always have big ears for anyone that has authentically tried any of my teachings and not gained the benefits I proposed.

So far, I’ve never had someone complain that my approach didn’t work that was doing the methods correctly.

The side-effects of eating organic foods, drinking good water, exercising regularly and properly, having a dream, and exercising one’s creativity are either health and happiness, or the symptoms of a body detoxifying itself.

Many times the complaints I’ve received were actually the symptoms of the body cleaning itself, or the mind!

Sadly, most people react to the detox effects as though they were the illness itself and seek to take drugs or stop the protocol because they are unwilling to take responsibility for what their diet and lifestyle have created.

They are happy to have body parts cut out, do chemo, radiation, take very dangerous medical drugs, but they won’t take a cold shower, drive a couple extra miles to a farmers market, or take the time to move their bodies and establish healthy core values.

So it is!

Yesterday was my scheduled rest day, yet because I was busy, I could only find time for a massage today. I wanted to take my rest day today so I could savor the benefits of my massage and steam bath, but I want to come back to continue my writing projects.

Therefore, I did a nice rowing session on my Concept II rower yesterday. I had a great pumping session while listening to audio recordings of Napoleon Hill’s, Your Right to Be Rich series.

I’m always amazed at how deeply spiritual his teachings are, particularly considering the timeframe of the era he was presenting them in! His understanding of the soul is very impressive indeed.

Penny comes home from Baltimore today, where she’s been at an info-marketing summit with Dan Kennedy and others. She really enjoys these meetings. I’m glad she’s coming home so I can rub her feet. She works so hard I love to ease her body-mind stress whenever I can.

USING THE NVC CHECKLIST

My all-time favorite book on Nonviolent Communication is Nonviolent Communication – The Basics As I Know and Use Them, by Wayland Myers, Ph.D.

I love this little book and can’t recommend it enough.

Here is an excerpt I thought I’d share with you as a weekend primer (p. 67-9):

When the Way I Speak Disrupts the Communication

Sometimes the way I speak helps make the conversation spin rapidly downward and I feel bewildered and afraid. In these moments, if I can muster enough emotional detachment and objectivity, I use the checklist’s four facts and three recommendations to help me figure out why things are going poorly.

These tools encourage me to check to see if the four pieces of information are the focus of our conversation and if we are speaking about them in the three suggested ways.

Using the checklist

I begin my problem solving by going through the checklist and asking myself:

1. Do I know what event served as a trigger for the party I am speaking with, or, if I initiated the conversation, have I clearly identified my triggering event?

2. Do I know what emotions others are feeling about this event and have I told them what mine are?

3. Have we both clearly identified which personal needs of ours are producing our feelings and are we adequately differentiating between our needs and requests?

4. Do we know what each of us wants to do, or have another do, right now, which might help us feel immediately more comfortable or content?

Expressed differently, what I’m interested in is the following:

– Do I know where this conversation started?

– Are we talking about our feelings and needs?

– Are we confusing our requests with our needs?

– And, do we each know what the other specifically wants to do, or have another do, at this moment?

Answering these questions helps me decide if our struggles are due to a missing or confusing piece of information.

NVC is not easy to apply because we all have a lifetime of prior conditioning. T

hat said, I’ve found that when I do monitor myself and make a sincere effort to use the principles of NVC, the pain I go through is far less than when I don’t use NVC, and the rewards are far greater!

It’s a lifetime practice and I enjoy the growth I gain when I use the methods.

I hope you get the book and practice.

I’d love to hear what happens in your life when you apply the methods with your challenging relationships.

Next week I’m looking forward to Teaching HLC3 here that will start on Wednesday. Its a great course that also includes infant development, and disease, organ and chakra correlations, with lots of practical knowledge and practice gained through fine tuning the HAQ with clients, and other deeper issues related to fungus and parasites. It will be fun!

Have a great weekend!

Love and chi,
Paul Chek