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February 12, 2013

The Importance of Clarity in the Change Process

Happy Tuesday to You!

Yesterday was beautiful for me. I had great joy with my work coaching clients.

For my exercise, I went out and built three new rock stacks on the property here. It is very steep where I built one of them and I almost fell down the side of the mountain carrying a rock that weighed about 125 pounds.

I got a huge adrenaline rush and a few scratches on my legs, but got the rock into position eventually.

I love the fact that I must stay totally present when I work with stones and nature, or there is an “awareness booster” waiting that may last months, or forever ☺.

Vidya and I enjoyed a lovely tai-chi session in the sun together too. I’m always grateful for my tai-chi practice!


Many people know they need to make changes in their life, but struggle to do so, even when they are aware that one or more aspects of their life are falling apart.

Having coached thousands of people through the change process, and having to manage plenty of change in my own life, I’m very aware of how the mind works when change is essential.

The most common, and debilitating mistake people make in the change process is not being clear about what they choose to create NOW in their life.

The cartoon I drew above signifies a common mistake made by people in the change process, and I’ve made this mistake myself a number of times, so I know it well!

Change is a lot like fishing in that you have to have enough awareness of what you want to catch to know how to bate the hook properly.

If you go fishing and just throw a small fish on your hook, you may catch a much bigger fish than you can handle, snap your line, ruin your pole, or worse yet, get pulled right out of your boat into the water with a shark!

What are some of the sharks you may greet if you are unclear in your change process?

1. Making changes too quickly is often very disruptive to a healthy flow in your life.

People’s health often diminishes in the change process because they bite off more than they can chew, and inevitably, they don’t make time to care for themselves and meet their essential needs.

2. You can end up jumping out of the pan and into the fire!

When we wait until we are frustrated and in pain to make changes we’ve known we needed to make for some time, we are far less likely to look into relevant issues effectively.

It is easy to end up in a new job, home, relationship, etc., only to find out that your life has become more complicated and less fulfilling than it was before.

3. You can find yourself happy about the changes you’ve made and are making, yet be surrounded by people who aren’t happy with the changes because they are affecting their lives in some way.

Therefore, part of a healthy change process is getting clear who’s on your dream-team and being sure they are aware of, and congruent with the changes you propose.

Some tips that will help you in the change process are:

1. Make peace with where you are in your life right now. Until you do that, your thought processes and decisions will reflect your inner-chaos and attract people to you that are just as confused as you are.

2. Meditate, ask questions, meet people that have implemented the kinds of changes you need to make and get any information or tips from them that may be helpful in your situation.

3. Get clear on the ten components of a dream so you are well informed as to what you actually desire at this time in your life. I take you through this process in PPS Lesson 1. How To Find and Live Your Legacy. You can look into that program at

4. Look at your life through an imaginary crystal ball. What does your life look like with, and without the proposed changes?

Look forward a week, a month, a year, three years! Will your changes propel you in the direction, and into the life you truly want to live?

5. Journaling and drawing your thought processes can bring much more clarity than simply juggling your thoughts as an intellectual process alone.

By writing your thoughts out, you access the left-brain, logical aspects of your psyche. By drawing your vision of the ideal, you access your right-brain, feeling, connecting, wholeness creating aspects of your psyche.

6. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.

It’s wise to be clear about what you don’t want, but ruminating on these issues and constantly talking about them in negative light will only put a cloud of gray around you.

Once you know what you don’t want, put all your energy into focusing on, and creating what you do want.

In my next blog, we’ll continue into the journey of change.


Angie Lustrick forwarded this link to me, highlighting the fact that some pills coming from China are made with desiccated babies in them! There’s been a lot of shocking news in the past few years about what’s inside this or that pill. When you read this, you’ll probably be even more hip to the reasons I suggest eating organic, whole foods and living a holistic lifestyle, that largely reduces the need for any pills to support you!

This one is off the charts, check it out:

Have a lovely day!

Love and chi,
Paul Chek

Zen in the Garden workshop