December 30, 2010


Greetings for another Intelligent Day!

Many, if not most people’s sexual intelligence is limited by their ideas about sex. We accumulate ideas in three developmental stages, which are inextricably linked to our soul development.

Our ideas emerge in three stages:
1. Biological mind development = Biological soul development
2. Intellectual mind development = Intellectual soul development, and finally
3. Awareness mind development = Awareness soul development. The culmination of which is a Spirit-Soul that remains conscious at physical death and can – of the fruits of it’s own Love – choose it’s own path in the Universe from that point onward.

Biological-Mind Development: The process of infant development is one in which the infant learns to fully inhabit and master their body (internal environment) in relationship to their outer environment. In this phase, we develop our sexual intelligence through intimacy with all that we interact with through our senses. Because the body and mind can’t be separated, only through optimal body development can we trust our experiences through which our perceptions arise. In this stage of development, as we master our bodies, we are gathering essential ideas about ourselves and our surrounding environment. Here, we learn to understand and use key ideas like soft and hard, wet and dry, hot and cold, up and down, left and right, more and less, move and stop, tastes good and doesn’t taste good, looks attractive and doesn’t look attractive, same as me vs. different than me! We are also learning to connect essential ideas such as thirst with water, hunger with food, fullness of bladder and bowel with the desire to evacuate.

Effective development of the biological-mind is such that our sensory impressions are linked to optimal thought-perceptions. People who have not completed optimal biological development for any reason often find themselves challenged with issues like, not being able to stop eating when they don’t need more food, or forgetting to eat when their body is hungry; staying up at night when they are tired; voiding bowel and bladder excessively, or not enough; having fears about water; fire, open or closed spaces, being overly reactive or unaware of smells. In short, they either over-inhabit or under-inhabit their bodies and their perceptions reflect such imbalances.

Looking at what sex is, one need not be a genius to deduce that sexual interaction typically includes fluids, smells, temperature changes, tastes, touch perception, open and closed spaces, colors, movement, and the potential to fall (physically, emotionally and mentally). Hopefully, you can see how the biological mind is the operational platform atop which the intellectual mind is built. Those with challenges at this level of sexual intelligence would be well served to have a CHEK Practitioner or HLC Practitioner trained in the use of infant development exercises support them in essential reprogramming, which can effectively take place at any age if the participant is willing. If money is a limiting factor for getting help, I suggest starting with my video Swiss Ball Exercises For Better Abs, Buns and Backs, which offers infant development exercises on a Swiss ball, and can go a long way toward healing inexpensively.

Intellectual-Mind Development:
Through the stages of biological development that occur in the first seven years of life, children’s minds are wide open. They literally record every sense and image impression they are exposed to. The first seven years of infant development have the greatest impact on intellectual development for the rest of their life. During this time, children don’t have adequate intellectual development to effectively differentiate story/fantasy from facts or reality. Sadly, this is when most children are socialized with their mother and father’s sexual intelligence, or lack thereof. It is also when children are typically indoctrinated into religious teachings, which are typically laden with “thou shalts” backed by threats of hell and damnation! This is when most people were programmed (by sinners) to believe that self-gratification is a sin. This is typically when boys and girls and programmed to believe that there is something wrong with them when they express their natural curiosity regarding a desire to look at and touch another’s body or sex organs. This is when they learn that God has definite demands you must meet if you are to get to heaven!

This my friends, is largely the origin of guilt, blame, shame and self-doubt that erodes sexual intelligence; this is also the stage of development in which most people’s chances of developing sexual intelligence is (metaphorically) sent to hell. As I show in my series on the 10 Commandments on (visit:, most of the so called (Abrahamic) religious commandments pit us against our natural biological urges to learn, grow and experience life, keep us in pain, and therefore, in need of repentance; such repentance is a for profit business of extraordinary proportions!

In my artistic rendition of “The Reactive Mind” above, I show how the reactive mind is a mind that doesn’t question it’s own thoughts or ideas, but acts on them as though they were facts. For example, the reactive mind will argue inexhaustibly in defense of the proposition that the world is only about 4,000 years old because their pastor (most likely in Sunday school!) told them so, even though schools, science texts, and the internet are bursting with legitimate scientific evidence to the contrary. The reactive mind will often torture it’s “self” with guilt, blame and shame when the natural instincts and urges for sexual intimacy falls outside their programmed paradigm. In order to truly develop sexual intelligence, one must be just as willing to let go of disempowering ideas as they are to undress. Otherwise, sex becomes bounded in unstated procedures and becomes excessively mechanical; it looks and feels as though dirty and leads one to the urge to wash it off and forget about it so they can survive their own judgments. Should such a person (say a closed-minded Christian, Muslim or Jew) be fortunate enough to end up in bed with an open-minded lover, chances are good that the open-minded lovers natural advances and offerings will be shunned as “dirty, kinky or nasty”; the open-minded lover may feel disappointed to have found themselves in bed with a needy, fear-driven child masquerading as an adult.

I developed PPS Success Mastery Lesson 2: Managing Your “Self” specifically to give anyone the tools needed to heal the reactive mind, which is an essential first step to developing the open or “aware-mind;” a mind that is your tool.

Awareness-Mind Development: Sexual intelligence reaches optimal expression when the conditioned or reactive mind heals to the point that it is capable of questioning it’s own thoughts. “Is it true that I’ll burn in hell for pleasuring myself?” becomes “No, because since the word GOD means “ALL”, without exception, if I’m pleasuring me, I’m pleasuring GOD, and if GOD burns me in Hell then GOD also burns GOD in hell!” “My boyfriend wants to have anal sex with me but that’s dirty!” becomes a willingness to ask others with open minds and sexual intelligence about their experiences and find out whether there is pleasure in the experience. The open mind knows that regardless what they say, they can only describe their experiences, and that may help, but should never replace your own willingness to explore to the degree that you can feel safe exploring.

The individual with a reactive mind is exemplified as someone who won’t try eating new things because of the way they look, or their the way they feel; they watch you enjoy sea urchin or sushi with a raw quail’s egg on top and are repulsed. Yet, if they had never seen what you are eating and you had them close their eyes and simply taste it, much to their surprise, many would find that what may appear as repulsive with their reactive-mind clouding sensory interpretation is actually down right lovely when experienced with unclouded judgment. As our minds heal and reach the stage of awareness (exemplified by our willingness to both question our thoughts and explore and experience as necessary to accumulate objective experiences), our sexual intelligence naturally reflects the qualities of openness. Now, the acts of sexual interaction aren’t something we must hide from Mom, Dad and God – they are a legitimate practice of “Love Making!” – share those with mom and dad and you’ll find out just how far the apple has evolved from the tree ~ no matter what your age!

Your sexual intelligence reaches optimal functionality when you realize that your experiences with self-pleasure give you the experience and openness to guide your partners to learning how to play your love organs. Your sexual intelligence is functional when instead of seeing another’s sex history as an impediment, you see a person who’s gain legitimate love making experience that can now be shared with you! After all, if you found out that your favorite musician, singer or composer had multiple experiences with other bands, would you see that experience as a gift to you, or would you consider them dirty for playing with others?

Now is the time to cultivate your sexual intelligence. The world will be a much more beautiful place when everyone comes out of the closet (including Popes, pastors and preachers!) and grows beyond the missionary position and dirty secrets to experience some good healthy unbridled love making! After all, happy people don’t start wars!

Love and chi,
Paul Chek