Embracing the Pause – It’s My Birthday!
I hope you are all enjoying life and living fully.
Today is my birthday, so I’m not really sure what I’ll get up to.
I am taking the day off from work, so maybe I’ll do some painting and have a long, enjoyable workout in my gym or lift some stones and hang out with the creatures.
I’m 54 now, but must admit, I still feel I have a lot to learn to fully optimize my opportunity to become fully human.
I am grateful that my life experiences have taught me a lot about how to learn, giving me the wisdom to not do things repeatedly that I know don’t work well…
As most of you are aware, I’ve spent a lot of my life researching and practicing holistic health, and traveling the world sharing what I’ve learned, and what I continue to work toward mastery of myself.
My viewpoints of what is important in life have changed as I’ve grown and matured as a man.
When I was young, I was focused on making something useful of myself, earning enough money to live my dreams, and sharing my ideas of how we can improve a variety of systems.
I worked very hard to educate myself and master the knowledge I gained from exposure to credible teachers and masters. I also focused on my work and career with such intensity that I didn’t fully embrace the opportunity to be fully present with my first wife and son when they often needed me.
“Go, Go, Go, get it done, master this, incorporate that, build this, build that” forever ran through my head….
With age, study, observation and life-experience, my focus shifted from being topic specific to progressively more global concerns.
I could see that there were common threads or themes (gestalts if you prefer) underpinning the stressors and disease factors affecting the masses.
In my 40s, my concerns expanded, and I began to orient my teachings toward the common denominators in everyone’s lives that either make us (healthier and happier) or break us.
My personal awareness shifted progressively from “I” to “WE” to the issues affecting us “ALL”.
As a man operating in the Caregiver Archetype, this progressive expansion of my awareness came with an expanded degree of empathy, compassion, and concern for not just people, but the well-being of the planet itself.
I could see that the common challenges people face were directly related to the way we’d come to live in a world of automation, instant gratification, and fast-food style education.
I could see that we’d become myopic, and as we purchased more and more items/toys/gadgets in attempt to “make our lives more comfortable”, we were at once fueling the destruction of natural habitats we were killing the infrastructure of nature so a few generations of human beings could live “Hollywood” – the corporatist, monetized version of the American dream.
Sadly, that leads to things like billions of dollars of sales at Christmas time and ultimately, at large, only ends up as piles of junk and waste being accumulated all around us…and not many feeling any happier next week…
By the time of my 50th birthday, I’d become exhausted of caregiving and realized that I was in need of more of my own advice!
I was walking the tightrope of the caregiver; on one side is caring for yourself, and on the other side is caring for others.
My youthful exuberance and desire to help people had brought me to the place of needing first and foremost, to rest, love and care for myself.
I began working a shorter week. I moved my office to where I am now, which is a beautiful location away from the buzz of city life.
I became much more selective of who I’d accept as a client/patient. I spent much more time doing art, which was very helpful for my spiritual regeneration.
Penny and I both started traveling a lot less and focusing on working “on the business” instead of being so consumed working in the business.
From 50-53, I rode a roller-coaster that undulated between resting more and meeting more of my needs for quite, introspection and creativity and addressing the big challenges of getting the CHEK Institute in position to better share its offering to the masses in ways that were less dependent on my personal presence, such as teaching a classes.
We made many changes, and naturally, whenever you do that in a family or a business, there is turmoil and often resistance to change from people that “cry for change!”
The circumstances helped to gift me that the extra time I could gave myself for body-mind centering would be essential to navigate the changes we now choose to make in the businesses we contribute to and and operate, along with others that we are involved with.
Today I am 54.
I have been in the profession of all things related to holistic health since I was 22 years of age as the trainer for the US Army Boxing Team.
I’ve walked many trails and been in many fires, waves, and floated down some beautiful rivers too.
I’ve come to understand the nature of love at the cosmic level, and the personal level with much greater depth than I ever dreamed I would have.
Paradoxically, I couldn’t have the wisdom I do now if my life hadn’t included all the personal and interpersonal challenges it has.
I’ve come to understand and appreciate that I really can’t authentically give something of myself to others if it is causing me to feel less alive, entangled, or experience pain that isn’t ultimately an expression of the love I have to give.
Each time I say “no” when I’d have earlier said “yes” in my life, the youthful me wiggles and squirms, and the wise man in me smiles.
As I sit here writing this blog to share with you, I’m at a point in my life where what matters most to me is doing my best to live each day in such a way that I’m modeling what I feel represents earth-friendly, sustainable living.
I’m working on working smarter, not harder.
There are moments when I feel as though a dragon is eating me alive because of what I see going on in the world – the destruction – the toxicity – the greed – the confusion of what life is really about vs. living Hollywood…smoke and mirrors…
We are all living in and expressing cosmic energies and forces, though we often don’t realize it.
When you get your nose too close to the screen, it is easy to loose site of the big picture – that we are all conscious entities created by what is largely an unconscious, perpetual process of Universal creativity.
This process is one in which what people call “God” becomes Self aware (aware in Totality) in and as self-awareness, which is an individual, but collective process within each of us.
The cosmic process is as a wheel, in which there are a myriad of spokes represented by any and all sentient beings rising in their own conscious awareness.
At 54, I’ve reached the point in my life and personal development that allows me to do my best to share my love and wisdom with people in honor of contributing to world healing, but without losing myself in it.
I can let go of the world now, and know that I am part of something so much vaster and grander than my intellect can process.
I can let go each day (after I’ve done my best) knowing that what created me (and you), the world, and expresses itself in and as the universe is a GRAND, LONG-TERM project.
We are never alone.
Today, I’m happy celebrate being on the journey I’m on with you because you are all part of it!
May we all embrace the “pauses” in our lives and take just a moment to celebrate the majesty of the MYSTERY of life and LOVE.
In my video blog today, I will share a short (about 18:00) lesson titled: Embracing the Pause
Examples I give to exemplify what I mean by “the pause” are things like getting stuck in traffic, elevator, or a long line somewhere.”
In my diagram (above) you can see that each pause we encounter is an opportunity to choose between acting out habits of the past or using our imagination and creative impulse.
I highlight the fact that we don’t want to abandon the useful aspects of our habits and “throw the baby out with the bathwater so-to-speak” – but, we do want to take any opportunity we can to use creativity with optimal habits to evolve ourselves (spiritually).
I highlight how acting from the past, or from negative, programmed, habitual behavior is a common source of over-stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system (SNS).
I explain some of the negative repercussions of chronically elevating our stress hormones.
I also explain how we can enhance the parasympathetic nervous system and related qualities of calmness, enhanced anabolic (healing) energy, and creativity or learning by managing the pause constructively.
I conclude my video blog offering by offering the following tips:
1. Breath through your nose and belly. Feel what is happening within you, and take time to celebrate the beauty in your life.
2. Dream! Any pause is a chance to dream! Dreaming is usually better than fretting and fussing, which isn’t typically very creative at all…
3. Heal: When the PainTeacher shows up in your life, it is wise to listen carefully and take stock of what is being created consciously, or unconsciously.
Use the “mind-flip” method I share often to reprogram yourself to experience what you want in ways that are dream-affirmative.
I explain that having 4 Doctor core values is essential to knowing when to say “yes”, and when to say “no”.
4. Chaos = Ground-state for creativity (organizing energy). My closing comments direct attention to the fact that what we so often try to avoid experiencing or even looking at (chaos) is actually the ground-state from which creativity emerges.
For example, the deeper you get into material existence, the more you find particles and energy going what seems to be every-which-way at once.
If you go the other way, expanding your viewpoint to a cosmic level, you see countless stars, light, dark and energy, yet find it impossible to find the world, or your life represented in the image – more like chaos again.
If we see chaos as “bubbling potential”, or information in fractal forms, we can use the organizing abilities of our own mind and creativity to create some semblance of order where chaos was once all we could perceive.
As we come to appreciate that chaos is not only an essential element of life, but “our life and the lives of everyone”, we can at once see that seeking to harness the potential of all that buzzing energy is a more positive outlook (and practice) than simply being reactive, which only makes you more of a reflection of your own perception (of chaos).
Admittedly (and yes, I too admit it!), this is a practice that takes some time to master. I’m working on mastering it daily in my own life.
As I eluded to in my introductory comments in regard to the feelings running through me on my 54th birthday today, my progressive ability to realize and practice the perspectives and tips I share in my own life have led me to a more peaceful place, a more peaceful existence within myself.
That is my dream for you, and hopefully, you can get to where I am and beyond in much less than 54 years!
1. Dr. Quite Audio Companion – MP3 Audio
2. PPS Lesson 2: Managing Yourself – online
CP3 Half-Way Through with Matt Wallden – Oceanside CA
Matt Wallden is here teaching CP3 and yesterday was their rest day. This course is heavy with lots of emphasis on the CHEK Totem Pole – eyes, mastication, upper and lower cranio-cervical, respiration, shoulder complex and so much more utilizing lots of hands on training.
I’ll be in to teach “Why People Don’t Heal” to the class on Wednesday this week. I’m looking forward to seeing many of my students again.
These beautiful painted stones were created by Donal and Cathy Carr in Australia.
Cathy recently held a birthday party for a young girl and several youngsters. As part of their party experience, Cathy led the kids through a meditation and when they were done, they found one of these beautiful stones on their mat.
Cathy and Donal have done a myriad of amazing art pieces. In fact, the most amazing portrait of me of the several people have given me over the years was painted by Donal.
I love it and look at it with amazement each day I’m in my office – Thanks again Donal!
If you want to learn more about Cathy Carr’s art and art classes, contact her: [email protected]
I hope you all enjoy my video blog today!
Love and chi,