Core Values (Pt.4): Needs Before Wants & Cold Water Therapy
Core values are our personal code of conduct. One’s core values are not core values when imposed upon us by others.
You will know when your stated or unstated core values are not aligned with your needs because you will feel a sense of dread, duty, or obligation when acting them out.
Feeling that way in regard to living your core values only creates stress within you. That isn’t living. That’s dying slowly, which is often the result of feeling like you need other people’s approval to feel good about yourself.
This is a very challenging state of being; soon enough, we all realize that what makes one person we love happy, irritates or disgusts another. This is to live between a rock and a hard place!
As I’ve shared earlier in this series, your core values are codes of conduct that are life affirmative.
This means that by living your core values, your thoughts and actions support the experience of enjoying your life – of feeling fulfilled each day.
To begin establishing effective core values, it is essential to differentiate your needs from your wants.
Many people’s lives are very chaotic today because they are the unconscious targets of many organizations that have mastered programing people.
Sadly, such programming leads people to believe they can’t be beautiful, successful, or safe without being this or that, wearing this or that, eating this or that, or being part of some group or organization.
The result of such mind-viruses is that people’s unconscious values are oriented toward outward appearances at the expense of legitimate “inner needs”.
Just as you see my Cosmic Gardner tending to the needs of the garden of the world, not out cursing the main drag for chicks in a care he can’t afford, we too must get clear on which values keep our inner-garden clean, beautiful, and a lovely place to be, to experience life.
WHAT ARE MY NEEDS?
We all have essential, core needs. They are all directly related to our need to feel safe in ourselves, our life, and in our relationships. We each need:
6. Safety, and
When it comes to establishing your own core values, once you know what your “dream is” (even if it is to remove your greatest nightmare!), it is time to establish values that ensure your safety in the dream-weaving process.
The seven essential needs listed above are the needs of every cell in your body. These essential needs are not just physical in their expression.
Think outside the box a little with me here:
1. Breath: We need fresh air for sure, but we also need room to breath in relationships. Be clear on what that means for you.
2. Warmth: We need to maintain a healthy, well-balanced metabolism for sure. We also need to feel emotional warmth in our relationship with ourselves, and others.
What qualities do you offer that create warmth in a relationship? What qualities in others create a sense of warmth in you?
3. Shelter: We all need shelter to protect ourselves from over-exposure to the elements for sure.
What creates a sense of mental-emotional shelter for you?
Is it maintaining a given balance in your savings account in case of emergencies?
Is it feeling safe enough in your intimate relationships to not feel like you have to lie to feel safe?
Your core values should create an inner-sense of shelter, helping you to better establish which potential relationships may or may not support your shelter needs.
4. Food: We all need food for sure. But we must remember that the mind feeds off of thoughts, and the emotional body feeds on emotions.
What are your values around exposing yourself to junk emotions, and/or repeatedly thinking self-defeating thoughts?
Without a clear definition, you may be swimming in mental-emotional sewers, and risk coming to believe that this is how life is for everyone.
Get clear on what you are willing to feed on at the physical, emotional, and mental level of your being or you will always feel like you are the victim of circumstances.
5. Water: We all need plenty of clean, quality water for sure.
But what values do you need to establish to keep a healthy sense of flow in your life?
Do you need to educate yourself to get to the next level of growth as a lover or a parent? How about your career?
What core values, if lived, will enhance your sense of flow in life?
6. Safety: Sure, we all need to feel we are safe, but what does that really mean to you?
For some, it means having lots of money available to them. For others, it means that they have a steady job and a stable sense of the future.
What values can you create for yourself that give you the ability to take responsibility for your own safety, freeing you from co-dependent relationships with others?
7. Love: Sure, we all need love. Love really means “connection”.
What core values, if lived, will enhance your sense of connection to yourself?
When we take responsibility for loving ourselves and meeting our needs for self-approval, we are less likely to expect others to make us feel loved.
Have you ever had a relationship with someone that felt chronically insecure, regardless of how many times you assured them that they were loved, beautiful, wanted, or cared for?…
Very draining. Very boring!
What core values can you establish for yourself, that if lived, create the joy of being alone with yourself, or self-sufficient?
As I’ve shared in this series, I have created self-help programs and courses that take you step-by-step through the essential process of identifying your dream and establishing your own core values.
I’ve done my best to share my viewpoints as a holistic lifestyle coach and Holistic Health Practitioner in this blog series in hopes of inspiring you to take yourself seriously enough to love and care for yourself.
Until we establish core values, we don’t really know who we are, or how to love and care for ourselves. That means that we have chosen to pretend we are still children.
The good news is that you (and your inner-child) can have a great time exploring yourself and establishing a dream and values that really create a sense of inner-joy and self-direction each day.
Here are some resources to help you if you are ready to experience more freedom in your life:
I hope you’ve enjoyed this short series on core values.
COLD WATER FOR ENHANCED VITALITY AND SEX DRIVE!
Most of you who follow my blog, or have studied with me are aware of my teachings on the benefits of cold-water therapies, such as cold showers, cold dips, and cold baths.
Above, you can see me jumping into 36º ocean water on my last trip to Sweden. The water is so cold there that the ocean freezes!
My Swedish friends are always surprised at how willing I am to jump in; that’s an ability that the Swedish have, but certainly not most Californian’s.
I love to exercise my inner-muscles and take care of myself, so I do this every time I’m in Sweden, and other places I go too. I wore a gold hat so all the beautiful Swedish ladies knew to keep me warm as soon as I got out of the water 🙂
I recently did an interview with Daniel and Dianna of the Raw Brahs group where Daniel asked me questions about the benefits of cold-water therapies.
Here is a link to the Raw Brahs site where you can watch this informative, short video clip: Polar Plunging is the New Aphrodisiac. Enjoy:
I took this photo while cutting and clearing a trail down to the lake from my work house. It’s quite steep to get down to the lake, and the brush is dense, not to mention lots of snakes to watch out for.
I’m looking forward to creating a safe nature walk here for my clients and ourselves. You don’t need a gym when you’ve got trails to build!
I was outside working with our handyman to put screens on our doors to keep the creatures out of the house yesterday when I looked up and saw a hawk with a white streamer trailing behind it.
My first thought was, “Shit, they are even paying hawks to fly banners and sell garbage now!…just kidding!” It was really, “Poor hawk. I wonder how it got garbage stuck on its wing?”
As I watched carefully, it looked like a large piece of toilet paper was wrapped around its wing. Once I looked at the photos, I could see it was a plastic bag.
It’s pretty shocking when you look into the statistic of how many animals on land and in the seas die every day due to chronic exposure to human trash and chemicals! I never thought I’d see this in my own back yard!
Let’s all try to share some healthy core values in support of nature, shall we.
Have a lovely weekend if I don’t get time to write a blog tomorrow! I’m planning on getting a deep massage so I’ll be out of the office.
Love and chi,