March 15, 2012

A LITTLE ABOUT SEX and Self-Realization

THappy Thursday to You!

So great to be home!

I had a very busy, productive day yesterday. My schedule was so busy I chose to keep working instead of dong morning tai-chi!

It is more stressful to squeeze it in than it is to meet objectives arising in the moment so I’m just as happy to catch up in the evening when the sun is setting and the birds return to nest.

The most important thing with any inner-cultivation practice is consistency. I

f we make it part of our lifestyle, then it’s not such a stressor to miss a session now and then for honest reasons.

If we make it another addiction, or if our inner-practices are driven by the motive to be better than others, or have something others don’t, then the practice will be short-lived and thwarted in its potential offering.

I did manage to get a great deadlifting session in with some additional pulling and some infant development exercises in.

After a few days of not training with weights due to teaching and travel schedules, I came into the gym fresh. I worked my way up to 365 for several sets off the step-box and left the gym feeling toned and younger than when I walked in.

That’s what good resistance training is supposed to do for us!

A LITTLE ABOUT SEX and Self-Realization

Sexual desires are deeply imbedded in our genes, our bodies, and therefore, our minds; your body and mind can’t be functionally separated, for a mind without a body represents potential, not experience.

I was raised by a mother that loved me, and appreciated the beauty of my body. She always helped me to feel good about myself.

Because I felt safe with my mother, I have always had an openness toward women in general.

Because she helped me feel safe and loving toward my body, I’ve never been afraid to share that treasure with others intimately, though there are certainly times I wish I’d been more cautious in retrospect.

Sex is often seen as dirty, sinful, distracting, or as an expression of a weak or poorly managed mind by many of religious bent.

In cultures where there’s not so much religious influence, sex is often seen completely differently.

Of the cultures I’ve studied, the Aboriginal culture’s approach to sex and how they raise their children is the most beautiful and well-rounded.

Because I spend so much of my coaching time addressing issues of sex and sex entanglement with my students, I created an audio titled, There Are Only Two Kinds Of Sex, Which Are You Having?

In that audio program, I highlight the fact that in essence, sex either acts as a binding force (glue) in a relationship, or as grease, soothing and enhancing a relationship.

How sex plays out in our individual experiences is influenced by a combination of factors:

1. What is your guiding intention?

2. What is your partners guiding intention?

3. Is sex a tool of avoidance, or connection?

4. What will sexual intimacy produce with regard to expectation by you, or your partner?

Does it mean that someone now “owes you something”?

Does it mean you no longer respect the person because you have penetrated their persona?

5. Can you enjoy sexual intimacy (deep petting and sharing) without causing problems in the rest of your relationships such that in the end, it turns out to be super-glue instead of lubrication in relationships?

Each of us has our own individual needs and each of us is responsible for meeting them.

I’ve found that the secret for meeting them effectively is to be clear as to what you want, and what you have to offer.

Only with that clarity can you ever effectively go through the process of determining if sex is safe in relationship to another.

Sex has the power to create life, and the power to destroy life! We all hold that power in our bodies and our minds.

Sex is no different in this regard than power, money, fame, food, or drugs. One who can’t manage one, generally can’t manage the other because they are all expressions of both our power, and our capacity to love.

Some business deals seem beautiful in the beginning, but without mutual clarity, they turn into pain and entanglement.

Some sacraments can open us to unlimited possibilities in our lives, but if we don’t use the awareness gained as a motive for intelligent action, we end up being a prostitute to the experience of possibility, while at once being the victim of our own lack of clarity.

Food can create a beautiful body, and the same food in excess or deficiency can make for a sick, unattractive body, which is reflected in the mind.

Power is the ability to transform. Without clear intention, we can easily turn drinking water into mud.

Fame can get you lots of sex, but can easily leave you starved for love.

I’m still enjoying the process of learning how to manage all my creative energies and their expressions.

I’m not here to tell anyone “what they should or must do”, I’m only here to offer perspectives based on my life experience, which is all I truly can offer.

In time, we find that each relationship we have is a stepping-stone on the path to Self-Realization and that there is no “right path” to getting there.

All streams lead to the Ocean.

Love and chi,
Paul Chek