Finding Peace In Challenging Relationships

Happy Monday everyone! I hope you’re staying sane, safe and healthy even in these trying times!

Relationships are complicated things. Believe me, I live that EVERY DAY! with two wives AND two small kids. (That’s why I tell guys who ask me about this not to even think about inviting another partner into their lives until they get their first relationship in order!)

During my recent Living 4D Q&A session with Penny, we tackled an emotional and complicated question about relationships that many of you have probably faced at some point in your lives, as I have.

In fact, it’s a very common question I’ve been asked by people taking Holistic Lifestyle Coaching (HLC) 2 classes for some reason over the years too.

I’ve been in a relationship with my female partner for nearly seven years. Although I care for her immensely and we generally get on very well, I no longer love her. However, she frequently tells me she loves me. This has been the case for a few years now, and the Pain Teacher is very present in my life.

My heart says to end the relationship, but my head says don’t. I’m so worried that I’ll cause her too much pain and she’s very sensitive to most things and this would really hurt her. Also, she has two children from a previous relationship (late teenage children), and I find it hard to love them fully too. I get on with them very well, but this will obviously affect them. Not to mention the fact that my family loves and cares for them deeply.

I’d very much like you to share your thoughts on how I go about ending my relationship with her.

I go pretty deeply in this week’s blog/vlog about relationships, but before you click on the link, I think it’s important for all of you to understand one thing…

As part of the I/We/All core values I teach that help you define your dream, you must love yourself first. You can’t give love to others that you don’t have for yourself, if you authentically don’t feel that sense of loving connection to her.

And, do your feelings arise out of fear of a loss of freedom, or is it something more than that?

If you need more guidance, I recommend reading Loving Completely: A Five-Star Practice For Creating Great Relationships by Keith Witt, Finding and Keeping Love by Harville Hendrix and Healing Your Attachment Wounds by Diane Poole Heller.

Love and chi,

Paul